Fear

I was the poster child for a deeply rooted fear... Of people... Kind of crazy I know. But I was actually am afraid of them. Not like I thought everyone was an ax murderer fear but a deep consuming fear that had grown from this tiny little seed some years back and had completely taken over my life. It had gotten so bad I wouldn't make phone calls out of fear. I'd sit there trembling over it and finally my hubby would give in and do it himself.  Man he would get annoyed. So that would turn into an argument and just create negativity. See how the enemy plays into this. It consumed me so that the fear took my eyes off of God. Think about going into a grocery store and being scared to  chat with the cashier... That is how bad it was.

So I decided to pray about it. Fear can not rule my life. Fear is not from God. Or so He told me. God does not plant fear. He does not give it to you or help you find it. It is a blatant attack from the enemy as we walk this very narrow journey with Christ.  Satan wants us to stumble so why not seed doubt and fear until it takes root and grows. So here is the scene- I go to my quiet place to talk one on one with my Father. This happens to be outside on our back patio on a little white table. I have candles illuminating my prayer journal and my Bible a pen and a high lighter. As I am writing and praising my King I am surrounded by HIS creation. I feel the breeze, I look up to the heavens just bursting with stars. I smell the beautiful sweet blossoms from the tree next to me and in the distance I can hear frogs. But God's beautiful majestic presence is with me. Nothing is more beautiful than that scene right there! There is no fear there... Just God!

As I sit there praying  I ask God to renew my heart.  This leads into " Erase this fear I have developed of people and give me confidence to exclaim YOUR glory." Straight out of my journal. God spoke to me and told me... If you are afraid of people How can you do MY work? Wow! talk about a whopper of a statement. My purpose.. my one and only goal is to live for Christ. To do His will and work for His glory. His profession just happens to be about people. Not specific people but EVERYBODY! I continue to pray and decide to read the book of Haggai.  
Haggai 1:13- 
Then spake Haggai the LORD's messenger in the LORD's message unto the people, saying, I am with you, saith the LORD.
Haggai 2:5- 
According to the word that I covenanted with you when ye came out of Egypt, so my spirit remaineth among you: fear ye not.

Then if those are not enough I read the first part of Zechariah Chapter 1: 3
"Therefore say thou unto them, Thus saith the LORD of hosts; Turn ye unto me, saith the LORD of hosts, and I will turn unto you, saith the LORD of hosts."

I am astounded at how faithful and full of love and comfort God is.  How can I have fear when the Lord ABIDES in me. Not possible. He loved us so much He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within us.  It's all tying together now. My Dad has been teaching me over the past few months to  study the Bible and read about being an overcomer , a conquerer. I will conquer this fear because MY KING abides in me. He reigns in MY heart. 

Well now let me enlighten you on a test the very next day.  I am on my way to get paper for Logan's art and as I am waiting in line I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit weighing on me to tell this cashier God bless you. Not that big of a thing right? Talk about throwing my fear right into my face.  I was terrified!  As I am in line my heart is pounding my chest. I feel the trembling and the Holy Spirit won't let up. So as I talk to this man, I ask how he is ,give him my money and Bam! May God bless you escapes my lips :) Powerful! He ignored it and moved onto the next customer but I did it! I said the words my Father wanted me to say at the right time. I overcame my fear. Today! 

So tonight I was praying and the Lord laid on my hear to pray about fear so I did. He comforted me and told me, confirmed to me to fear not HE is with me always. Psalm 23:1-4 

 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 

Father God you are so powerful! Nothing can stand in your way. Nothing is impossible for you! You are so majestic. So Holy Father! Thank you for abiding in me. Thank you for letting everything work together for my good. ( Romans 8:28) Thank you for walking this road with me and helping me overcome and conquer the scary stuff.. Oh how I love you Father. My King!!!!