Astounded

I look at who I was and see where you were in the midst of darkness.... I remember the hurt this world offered. And found your arms. I saw the hate this world brings and sought your comfort. I was the lost and you found me. I left you and yet you never let go. I abandoned you ... And you just held on tighter. You're love is astonishing.

Tonight on the eve of the day we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus I decided to reflect. The reflection led me to look at who I was. That is not a pretty picture. I was an awful person consumed by sin who went down a road that led further from the light. I walked my path in blindness, darkness tracing my footsteps. Temptation, misguiding and deception took hold of who I was. I ignored the soul screaming inside of me and hid it with things of this world. The Word of God became offensive to me. I became offensive to myself. I hated myself and my hatred led me father away from the Lord. I was on a path of destruction, drowning in the forever darkness that is sin.The point being, Jesus Saved my life.

I was brought up a Christian and abandoned my faith for the lies of this world. Deception is a powerful tool used by the enemy and man it worked a number in my life. I won't go into details of what I did.  But the love of Christ blessed me even in sin. I have an amazing man for a husband a beautiful 3.5 year old to prove that and another beautiful blessing in my youngest son. He loves us so much He even blesses us when we don't even acknowledge Him. A year ago HE reached out his hand and took hold of my heart. I was changed forever. I remember walking into church. My heart heavy because oh who I was. My whole body telling me to run away from there. That is holds nothing. But HE stretched out his hands and told me to come. HE held me up when I couldn't. Above all He DIED for me and I don't deserve it.  Again thank you just isn't sufficient to what He did for this world. This grace period we are living in is our time to let the name of JESUS ring.

My love for Jesus triumphs over everything in my life. I stand astonished by the love He has given me. Somebody so undeserving. Easter is not about bunnies or candy or baskets. It's about the sacrifice and love the Lord gave us in his only Son. It's about Jesus conquering everything! Even Hell. Reflect on what Jesus has done in your life. Who HE has made you. 

Father! Abba! I thank you though it isn't enough. Thank you for being my light. For loving me. For guiding me to Your arms. For pulling me from the pit of despair and darkness. For dying and living once again for me. I am your servant God. Surrendered completely to You and Your will. Thank you Thank you Thank you!