I have failed. Now that is a pretty profound statement when most wont admit to failures. But I ... Have...Failed... How have I failed? I have failed my Lord. And He has disciplined me. For he has given me a new fear, the fear for many. Let me explain:
I feel as though I don't know how to pray. Pretty ridiculous I must say but because of that feeling of , I don't devote myself to prayer or talking with the Lord. I have challenged myself on this blog to dig into the Word and find time to sit with the Lord. This has brought me to my knees before God. Because I have failed. Sobbing and pleading to the Lord for forgiveness for not giving Him time. My life is so centered around so much I have lost track of my love. My heart has gone in a different direction then what it started. I have failed myself and God.
That is heart wrenching because I don't want to fail God. How do we grow in a relationship unless we work at it. I was skidding by getting touches of the Lord asking to be blessed when all HE wanted me to do was stop. And talk. Simple.. As I sit sobbing to the Lord for forgiveness bringing of every sin , every thought unpleasing He comforts me. Because His grace is so amazing. I was wrong yet He holds me. I seem to struggle with devotion. For months now I have been thinking of ways to get into devoted one on one time with God. This is not rocket science people. Sitting in a quiet place , talking to the Lord is not hard. But for me I found myself struggling. Becoming so absorbed in this world, the chaos of my life that I ignored Him. I expected to be blessed because I prayed for it. I wasn't making time for God. I was giving Him bits of me when He wanted ALL.
I had this fear. That I would become a lukewarm Christian and the flame in my heart would just go out. But I never went to God with this fear. What was I doing when I was getting so caught up but drawing farther away from God! What was I doing when I was so"busy" but making myself go away from God. Giving into the world and being a lukewarm Christian. I was wrong. I have failed.
Revelation 3:15-16 “I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth." Powerful statement that has struck my heart.
Through my tears I sat in silence waiting for the Lord to speak. He gave me this verse.
Matthew 24:12
"Sin will be rampant everywhere, and the love of many will grow cold." It goes on into verse 13 saying this : But the one who endures to the end will be saved."
My fear of being Lukewarm is gone. That was a slap to say ..WAKE UP! You were being cold what makes you think no one else is. Fear has grabbed me for the souls who don't know My Father. People this generation, this world is full of sin. Rampant and Raging. We are God's ARMY. This relationship must not grow cold but get stronger. We must practice daily devotion to draw closer to our Lord and Savior. I must practice daily devotion. This fire I feel for the Lord is strong. Do not get distracted by the world. It truly holds nothing for us. We must come to Him in every situation. In ever instance. The WORD of God is our weapon. Study it. Live it! This is life! I have just realized this. I have just committed this to heart. Word= Life. It is His divine tool to help us navigate through the chaos. And to bring us back to Him!
